First Day of School/Empty Nest

I've dreaded this day and dreaded this blog because what do I say? I'm terribly sad? It's the end of a significant chapter of my life? I hope and pray I've equipped my fourth child for school without significantly neglecting any of the others? I wish I'd taken him to Chuck E. Cheese's more. I wish I'd had his picture taken just one more time. I wish he always remembered which way his "J" turned in his name. Maybe he should be reading. All my other kids were at this stage. Did I read to him enough? Are his shoes comfortable enough to wear all day? I thought I was more prepared. I didn't expect to feel all the things I felt this morning, but I did and then some. When he was holding my hand, walking to class, I wasn't sure if I could actually let go. My brain just wouldn't send the message to my hand.

But I did. And I held it together for the most part, thanks to an emergency pack of Whoppers I'd brought. I'm sure the teachers on hall duty were, like, "Damn, that woman's hungry."

So I came home and cleaned out two closets and packed up some books for the library and went to the post office. But it's a long day with no kiddos around. Not that I'm complaining. I'm actually ready for this, but I think I'll need a little transition time.

Plus, my youngest daughter started MIDDLE SCHOOL today, so I've got TWO in middle school, an adjustment in itself.

I hear a lot of people saying, "I feel so OLD." I don't really care about that. I just know I'll miss their young selves. Their pre-blase childhood personalities. I'll miss knowing I can protect them, comfort them, and I don't know. I mean, who am I fooling? It was gonna happen, right?

I'd kind of like to get drunk and jump on the trampoline. Somehow that seems like just the thing I need. But I'll be picking up the troops before long. So I have just enough time to think about all this stuff, but not enough time to get my mind off it.

Well, my little one will be home again for the next three days (staggered kindergarten entry), then he'll enter for real on Friday. Will it be easier or harder? I don't know. But surely my blog will be better than this one.

Two quotes of the day: my kindergartner got in the bed with his older (2nd grade) brother this morning, and I heard him ask, "Tell me how to introduce myself again." Then when we told him he'd have nap time (yes, I should have mentioned that before today), he said," That's impossible. You can't nap in a room with toys in it."
Truer words were never spoken.

I love you all and thank you for reading. God bless all the mamas out there who took their babies of any age to school today.