My Mission Statement

I write to serve, to unite, to educate. I write to share literature and flesh out ideas that may be of interest to others. I write to document an emotion, experience, or a blip in time. My mission is to write in such a way that the reader is reminded that we can find humor in all situations. It's one of the great blessings of life.


Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Modern Woman's Guide to Surviving a Stomach Bug

Modern Woman's Guide to Surviving a Stomach Bug

1. Ginger Ale on the rocks
2.

That's all I've got. Haven't we made ANY progress? I mean, we're closer to a cure for cancer every day. We've nearly obliterated polio. We have antibiotics for everything. We've even greatly reduced teen-age acne and learned how to straight teeth that look like a donkey's, but we haven't learned anything new about surviving a stomach bug. Maybe I should start a cause on facebook. Sounds like this area is ripe for invention. I think I'll come up with a new product "Bug in a Bag" and it will contain the following things.

1. YOu know those flea bombs people set off in their houses? How about a bug bomb. You set it off, and it kills all the bad germs in your house. Why hasn't anyone thought of that, eh?
2. Ginger ale-flavored mouthwash for post-vomiting gargling. That listerine is just so strong, sometimes it brings it on again....
3. Ginger-ale-flavored chapstick because you get so dehydrated and your lips get so chapped, but you can't bear the smell of anything else...
4. Box of ginger-ale scented kleenex. You know why.
5. A barf bag that is color-coordinated with your kids' backback if they're really well and ready to go back to school but need the security of 'what will happen if I get sick at school?" At least they'll be cute about it.
6. A warm, snuggly blanket that's disposable, so you can rid your house of that germ-infested thing after you're feeling better.
7. Ginger ale and saltines, of course.
Did I miss anything? Help me out here. And if anyone knows any tricks to add, PLEASE share. I've got a sickie home today. If not, hopefully these tips will help you one day.

1 comment:

alison moore said...

Don't forget about disposable OUTFITS. Not just underwear, but pants and socks too. I won't go into detail, but THANK GOODNESS I traveled w/ a clean outfit for each kid today.

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