Sheesh!

The planets are not aligned. Fast forward through oversleeping, breakfast disaster (accidentally bought the 'brown milk'-vanilla soymilk--it's easy to mix up with the regular organic milk--kids grossed out AFTER cereal is already poured...sick child staying home, etc., driving carpool, and so on). ANYWAY, then I could not get my computer to turn on...I'll spare you all those boring details, as well, but perhaps the most difficult part of all of this is the strange voice in my head...I can't stop thinking in the voice of Julia Child aka Meryl Street. No kidding. It was funny at first, but now it's annoying. I've been taken over by the ghost of Julia Child--only without any of the benefits. This voice isn't giving me inside cooking secrets or telling me of the wonders of Paris. This voice isn't helping me with my French accent (well maybe a little) or directing me in dinner preparations. It's just taking everything I think and say and giving it that crazy, funny accent. Okay, now it's official. I've truly lost my mind. With an accent.

So here's the thing. I can't possibly write anything for you that makes any sense because it all sounds so strange in my head. And I don't know what to DO.

Now I have a list a mile long of things to DO today, so I need to shake this damn voice and shake it soon. Maybe it's too much coffee. I do need to temper the caffeine. And I hope my kid doesn't have H1N1 although from the looks of things, it seems we'll all have it sooner or later. Maybe we're better off getting it out of the way, but for now he's just coughing.

I'm entering the great week of birthdays at my house. One on Saturday, one on Sunday, and one on Tuesday. Maybe Julie can help me make some fabulous cakes. Ha Ha. I'm kind of off the hook with my DH's birthday because the Vikings kindly agreed to play their opening game on his birthday which is all he wants to do. (Go Vikes!) Now if I can just get a confirmation on the win, but Brett hasn't gotten back with me yet.

Redneck Parenting Tips for Getting into the Swing of School:
1. Buy lots of notecards, and get kids in the habit of making flashcards for spelling tests, vocabulary, math formulas, etc. It's a good habit for all learning styles and one that will take them through med school.
2. Arrange for your televisions to be broken or impaired for a while.
3. Push an afterschool/homework routine hard these early weeks. It's tough because it's mostly still nice out and they want to play, etc., but these first weeks are crucial for everyone's habits for the year. IF you start out with good habits, it's a lot easier to stick to them then to break bad ones after the first report card or the first day you pull your hair out.
4. Temper the urge to let your kids participate in every extracurricular activity available. I know you're tempted by the very existence of Sidewalk Chalk Greek or Double Dutch Cooking Class, but resist. If you get everyone off to a good start and then they want to join, most classes will let you start late. Make a good decision rather than a hurried decision.
5. Get in a good family reading routine from the get-go, too. At our house, we try to enforce family reading after 8. The younger kids are actually in bed by then (I read with them earlier), so the older kiddos can stay up later, but TVs are off at 8.
6. Love up their teachers. The first weeks they run on adrenaline, then they're just exhausted from all the preparation. Learn the classroom routine, best way to communicate with the teachers, and if possible, their favorite treat. Then proceed accordingly.

Have a great day. I've got to run put on my Beouf Bourgignon (clearly Julia isn't spelling for me).