First I have to tell you that I had this really bad dream right before I woke up this morning, so I started off the day a little discombobulated. That said, I went on to 'scrub' a scab off my poor son's face because I thought it was remnants of oatmeal. Isn't that terrible? The poor kid. But it DID look like oatmeal. He didn't cry too much, and he forgave me, but still. Made me feel like a real heel.
Then, I go to the gym and to the grocery store. I'm feeling really proud of myself for doing these two things, so I decide to celebrate on the way home with a big, yummy chocolate do-nut. Oh, and I'm still doing the whole grateful thing: I'm grateful I can pay for my groceries. I'm grateful to live in a country with free elections. I'm grateful I have a car to drive my groceries home, so I don't have to walk in 28 degree weather. I'm grateful for this big yummy do-nut in my hand. Well at this point, I'm driving across the parking lot, and I take a big bite out of this luscious pastry. My eyes are half-closed, being grateful, you know? Except I'm driving and I accidentally cut off this guy in a truck (still in the parking lot, mind you, a 5 mph cut off, but I am sorry). So I back up, roll my window down, and call out, "I'm really sorry," because that's the kind of girl I am. So do you know what he says to me," Put down the damn do-nut and drive." Well, now. That's not very nice. But I threw the do-nut into my lap and drove.
That's all for now. Just wanted to share that little tidbit. Oh, and speaking of tidbit, I'm glad you all enjoyed my penis stories. With two sons, I have many more, but I'll save them for another month, so my blog doesn't get flagged for offensive material again.
Have a great day!
My Mission Statement
I write to serve, to unite, to educate. I write to share literature and flesh out ideas that may be of interest to others. I write to document an emotion, experience, or a blip in time. My mission is to write in such a way that the reader is reminded that we can find humor in all situations. It's one of the great blessings of life.