Hot, Hot, Hot

It is SO hot. Crazy, unseasonable, record-setting HOT. Stinky, plant-killing, dog-panting hot. Slow-moving, haze-settling, beer-drinking hot. Fly-swarming, car-baking, lipstick-melting hot. Cold shower-taking, pool-swimming, margarita-needing HOT. So what's a girl to do? Take off all her clothes and lie under the ceiling fan?

I think I'm dehydrated, and I know I'm tired. Everyone is grouchy in a slow, lazy kind of way, not an aggressive, mean grouchy, mind you, just a "MUST I do anything?" kind of way. This is July weather, NOT June weather. By July, you are READY to slow down, drink beer, and complain about the heat. By July, you're ready to take a break from the uber-frenzy of summer, but NOT JUNE! And get this, I already have a kid with swimmer's ear in both ears! What is UP? And they still have two more days of school! So what does this mean? Fireworks on Saturday? School supplies next week? It feels like summer left me behind somewhere in the muggy stew of our town. Like the carrots my kids leave lying on their plate.

I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining. It's not that, exactly, it's just odd, you know? Anyone else feel kind of wierd about all this stuff, please interject, and save me from myself.

Anyway, two main points for today. I read in the NY Times that some major grammarians (was there such a thing? major grammarians? I mean, I consider myself a MINOR grammarian, so who's major? the guy who wrote the Times article, perhaps? a professor of Grammar at one of the IL Universities, I guess) Anyway, the article stated that some major grammaries predicted the deletion of the hyphen and capital letters from the English language. So today, I tried to use as many hyphens as possible in case my opportunities are running out although the only way I would stop using hyphens is if they disappeared from my keyboard. And capital letters? I for one, would feel like less of a person if I had to write my name donna instead of the stately, led-by-a-daunting-capital Donna. Then maybe everyone would notice how dangerously close my name is to the phrase 'prima donna' and begin to make connections I just don't like. At any rate, for now, the hyphen and capitalization is not only important to me, but I intend to reinforce its importance at every opportunity. Especially the next time I have lunch with a MAJOR grammarian. In my next blog, I will focus on capital letters. I won't tell you what to do, but if we all were a little more appreciative of the nuances of our English language, they wouldn't be endangered, as such. Maybe I'll print t-shirts that say "Save the Hyphen" or "Caps Forever". Would you buy one?