My Mission Statement

I write to serve, to unite, to educate. I write to share literature and flesh out ideas that may be of interest to others. I write to document an emotion, experience, or a blip in time. My mission is to write in such a way that the reader is reminded that we can find humor in all situations. It's one of the great blessings of life.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

The Palin Pouf and a Very Embarrassing Moment

So, how does Sara Palin get her hair to do that anyway? Is it stuffed with something? Teased? All product? Did the Queer Eye people get ahold of her? Because she's got a look. And I do wonder if those glasses are prescription or just clear lenses to make her look older...hmmmm...lots to think about with this new candidate. None of which would even enter my mind if she were a man. Does that make me as sexist as the camera man last night who panned her from head to toe at least a dozen times? But really, I like her. She's got fire in her belly and a common sensical approach that was enjoyable to watch. This race is getting good.

Well, as most of you know ,my husband is a dentist. He just bought the new equipment to offer Zoom whitening to his patients, and he asked me to come in today and let some of his staff 'train' on me. So, I said, "Sure." I mean, I've seen all these total makeover shows where they sit in a luxurious chair and this small, unobtrusive camera is beside them. It looks easy as pie.

Now before I go on, I should mention how very claustrophobic I am. Like big time. I can't even wear a motorcycle helmet comfortably. I once had an MRI and had such difficulty entering the machine (picture me crawling up the conveyor belt away from the machine). Anyway, the nurse said maybe I should come back with some medication, and I had to admit that this was me ON MEDICATION, ie as good as it gets! Even when the tanning bed craze was on, I went a few times and tanned with the bed completely open. Okay, you get the picture.

So I'm in the chair, a lovely comfortable chair with a back massager, etc. My husband has a great office with fabulous staff, so they're as sweet as can be. First they basically pull my lips away from my skull approximately four-five inches to put this big plastic thing in my mouth which makes me gag like crazy. Then, they put gauze all around my mouth that goes out so far it covers my nose. Well, I'm already thinking, "No freaking way can I do this, but I'm trying. I really am." I asked for an ipod, which they offer, and they brought me one. I got permission to move the gauze that covered my nose, although it kept falling back down over my nose. I even told my husband that I didn't think I could do it. He kind of laughed and said, "You'll be fine. All these girls have done it." So I thought, okay. Well, long story short, it just gets worse and worse. I can't breathe, I'm gagging, my heart starts to beat a million miles an hour, and I totally freaked. No kidding. Crying and everything. I ripped the googles off my face, tore everything out of my mouth, and grabbed this little fan to blow right into my nose, convinced that I wasn't getting enough air. I completely and totally lost my stuffing right there in my husband's office in front of his staff, other patients, the other doctors, etc. I get palpitations just thinking about it all over again.

So my YS didn't want me to walk him in today. He wanted me to drop him off in the circle drive at school and walk to his kindergarten class HIMSELF. I was very proud of him but a little disappointed. I only got to walk him in, like, 3 times?? I mean, is this IT??? Is he just DONE with me? aaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh

But my writing is going very well, thank you. I'm trying to submit two things a week, so we'll see what happens THIS week since tomorrow is Friday already and I didn't have a Monday, etc. Everyone take care and have a good week.

Oh, and btw, if Hanna becomes a hurricane after all and goes over us like it's projected to, I'll share all the exciting details.


Auntie said...

Donna, as your favorite aunt (albeit self-appointed) and being from Texas, we women here know all about the "poof." I wouldn't dream of leavin' my house every day without spandex around my tummy, my makeup in place, and a nice little "poof" in the crown of my head (with several coats of hair spray to ensure the "seal" can't be broken once I leave the house)! Our soon-to-be-next-vice-president must have Texas blood in her from somewhere; otherwise, she wouldn't know how to get that "do"!!!

Donna Jones Koppelman said...

You are SO right. There must be a Texas connection although her accent would never indicate it. She sounds like our Minnesota family. But I still don't know how to DO it. Is it a whole teasing thing, or is there stuffing in there somewhere? Is it all her hair? Perplexed in Edenton

Isabel by Donna Jones Koppelman

Isabel by Donna Jones Koppelman

Major Bear at the Grove Park Inn by Donna Jones Koppelman

Major Bear at the Grove Park Inn by Donna Jones Koppelman