First of all, how have I never read DAIRY QUEEN by Catherine Murdock? I'm going to try and be modest here--but here's the thing--I've read nearly every acclaimed middle grade book on the PLANET EARTH, and I've somehow not read DAIRY QUEEN. I've even had it recommended to me, but somehow never picked it up. Okay, now that sounds like too much, but I read a lot of books. DAIRY QUEEN is great. I almost don't have words. Now on Cheryl Klein's website this week, she refers to someone referring to blogs such as this as (my words) mundane dribble and trying to hear myself talk. According to her source, we should be discussing the major issues of DAIRY QUEEN, but not today. I'm just here to tell you this book rocks, and you must pick it up.
Now it's been a while since I've given any redneck tips and tonight I am full of them. Are you ready?
REDNECK PARENT TIPS for DROPPING YOUR KID AT CAMP
1. Forget his pillow and have to borrow one from the nurse ( a little tiny one at that)
2. Bring all of your kids (FOUR KIDS) along for the whole settling in process yelling "Ahoy there!" all the way
3. Make sure all the kids go to the bathroom in the tiny, open air bathroom in the cabin while yelling, "Don't let anyone in!"
4. Argue about whether or not you should short-sheet your son's bed as you're making it up for camp
5. Argue about which bed HE should choose--which one is better, more air, better view, more friends to talk to, more storage in the wall beside him, etc.
6. Corner the counselor about the necessity of sunscreen, etc.
6 1/2. Introduce yourself to the other parents by saying, "Your son has had chicken pox, right?" and "YOu can't get lice more than once, right?"
7. Get your whole family to pretend to shower with your son in the big open shower, so he won't be so nervous about showering with his cabin mates
8. Call your son every embarrassing nickname, and allow siblings to do the same
9. Just laugh when the counselor asks your son if he wants to "Take off and play soccer," and your son misunderstands and takes off his shirt.
10. Drive the car slowly past the soccer field as you leave camp, so everyone in the car (yes, the other FIVE people) can yell, "Go, Ben!" or "I love you, Ben!" until he gets so distracted that he falls down with the ball, THEN
11. Everyone in the car yells, "Get up! Don't take that! Get that ball! Don't just lie there!"
12. As you leave, yell, "YOHA!" (backwards for Ahoy, since you're on the way home) and just laugh when the other people respond with , "Aloha?"
13. Stop at Wal-Mart on the way home with the other FOUR kids--yes, four kids--did I forget to say we picked one up along the way?
My Mission Statement
I write to serve, to unite, to educate. I write to share literature and flesh out ideas that may be of interest to others. I write to document an emotion, experience, or a blip in time. My mission is to write in such a way that the reader is reminded that we can find humor in all situations. It's one of the great blessings of life.