I used to think I was pulled between two different things: Working outside the home and mothering my children. Mothering my children and cleaning my house. Mothering my children and preparing meals. Then the kids would go to bed, and I would be pulled between time with my husband and laundry. Laundry and cleaning up the kitchen. Cleaning up and setting my work goals for the next day. Other times of day forced me to choose, as well. Meetings at church or dinner with the family. I could go on and on...
But then I finally realized, I am pulled in a HUNDRED different directions. And you may not believe it, but it actually made me feel BETTER. Seriously. Because when I look at all the things I am 'expected' to do in a day, when I look at them all at once, I can't do anything but laugh. Because there is no stinking way ANYONE could do that. So instead of choosing what I'm going to do, I'm trying to think more about what I'm NOT going to do each day.
For example, this morning I got up. I had a big writing deadline, kids wanted to eat breakfast, husband wanted to plot out the afternoon with carpools, etc., son wanted me to open a different bag of chips instead of taking the pre-bagged ones in his lunch, carpool partner needed me to go over schedule with her, daughter wanted me to help find her water bottle, other son changed his mind about breakfast, dogs needed to be fed, cat meowed to be fed, dogs wanted to go out, cat wanted to come in, humongous truck backing into driveway next door-needed to protect children, coffee spilled in lunch box needed to be wiped up...I could go on and on. And that's just one 10 minute period in a normal morning. Could I do all those things? No, so I had to adjust a few expectations, and then we all moved on. Choose battles you can win first thing in the morning!
Kids are swamped with options, temptations and choices. They need to see that it is OKAY to say, "Not gonna happen," and we need to let them know that sometimes. We even need to let THEM admit that they may or may not get to everything on their list in a day, an hour, or even at a birthday party. Or they will just grow up to be another generation of stressed-out, perfectionist-striving parents.
Once I realized that I wasn't always choosing between two things but a myriad of things, it felt much less like a battle of good vs. evil.
Welcome to ChitChat. I am the mother of four children and a writer of children's literature trying to make sense of it all. Join me as we talk about family, children, education, current events and GREAT BOOKS!
My Mission Statement
I write to serve, to unite, to educate. I write to share literature and flesh out ideas that may be of interest to others. I write to document an emotion, experience, or a blip in time. My mission is to write in such a way that the reader is reminded that we can find humor in all situations. It's one of the great blessings of life.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
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